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So near and yet so far. Indonesia and Malaysia are close neighbours. We share the same roots, similar cultures, traditions and have the same linguistic origins. And yet, more often than not, we find it quite difficult to talk to one another. Even though we are friends, our languages are victims of 'faux amis'. Check out some of the expressions below and you will know what I mean. In the brackets are my own poor English translation of the meaning in Bahasa Indonesia.)

INDONESIA: Kementerian Hukum dan HAM (Ministry of Justice and Human Rights)

MALAYSIA : Kementerian Tuduh Menuduh (Ministry of Blaming Each Other)

 

INDONESIA: Kementerian Agama (Ministry of Religion)

MALAYSIA: Kementerian Tak Berdosa (Sinless/Innocent Ministry)

 

INDONESIA: telepon selular (Cell Phone)

MALAYSIA: talipon bimbit (Not sure what 'bimbit' refers to!)

 

IINDONESIA: rumah sakit bersalin (Maternity Hospital)

MALAYSIA: hospital korban lelaki (Victim of Men Hospital)

 

INDONESIA: Angkatan Darat (The Army)

MALAYSIA: Laskar Hentak-Hentak Bumi (Soldiers stomping on the earth!)

 

INDONESIA: Angkatan Udara (Air Force)

MALAYSIA: Laskar Angin-Angin (Windy Soldiers)

 

INDONESIA: 'Pasukan bubar jalan !!!' (Dispersal troop)

MALAYSIA: 'Pasukaan cerai berai !!!' (Messy troop)

 

INDONESIA: Pasukan terjun payung (Parachutists - literally umbrella jump troop)

MALAYSIA: Aska begayut (Not sure what 'aska' means but 'bergayut' means swinging)

 

INDONESIA: belok kiri, belok kanan (Turn left, turn right)

 

MALAYSIA: pusing kiri, pusing kanan (dizzy left, dizzy right)

 

INDONESIA: Departemen Pertanian (Department of Agriculture/Farming)

MALAYSIA: Departemen Cucuk Tanam (Department of Planting)

 

INDONESIA: 6.30 = jam setengah tujuh (half to seven)

MALAYSIA: 6.30 = jam enam setengah (six and a half)

 

INDONESIA: gratis bicara 30menit (30 min free talk time)

 

MALAYSIA: percuma berbual 30minit (30 min useless boasting)

 

INDONESIA: tidak bisa (not able)

MALAYSIA: tak boleh (not allowed)

 

INDONESIA: WC (toilet)

MALAYSIA: tandas (demolished)

 

INDONESIA: Satpam/sekuriti (Security Guard)

MALAYSIA: Penunggu Maling (Thief watchman)

 

INDONESIA: Aduk (Stir)

MALAYSIA: Kacau (Confused)

 

INDONESIA: Di aduk hingga merata (Stir until even)

MALAYSIA: kacaukan tuk datar (Confuse so it's flat)

 

INDONESIA: 7 putaran (7 rounds)

MALAYSIA: 7 pusingan (7 'dizzy' ness - pusing=dizzy)

 

INDONESIA: Imut-imut (cute, tiny)

MALAYSIA: Comel benar (not sure but doesn't sound so cute)

 

INDONESIA: pejabat negara (state official)

MALAYSIA: kaki tangan negara (state arms and legs)

 

INDONESIA:bertengkar (having a row, fighting)

MALAYSIA: bertumbuk (pounding)

 

INDONESIA: pemerkosaan (rape)

MALAYSIA: perogolan (no bahasa equivalent)

 

INDONESIA: Pencopet (Thief)

MALAYSIA: Penyeluk Saku (Pick Pocket I suppose)

 

INDONESIA: joystick

MALAYSIA: batang senang (happy stick I suppose)

 

INDONESIA: Tidur siang (Afternoon nap)

MALAYSIA: Petang telentang (Afternoon flat on the back)

 

INDONESIA: Air Hangat (Warm water)

MALAYSIA: Air Suam (rather warm water)

 

INDONESIA: Terasi (salted fish paste)

MALAYSIA: Belacan

 

INDONESIA: Pengacara (Lawyer)

MALAYSIA: Penguam

 

INDONESIA: Sepatu (Shoes)

MALAYSIA: Kasut

 

INDONESIA: Ban (Tire)

MALAYSIA: Tayar (Tire/Engish word)

 

INDONESIA: remote

MALAYSIA: kawalan jauh

 

INDONESIA: kulkas (fridge)

MALAYSIA: peti sejuk (cool box)

 

INDONESIA: chatting

MALAYSIA: bilik berbual (boasting room)

 

INDONESIA: rusak (broken)

MALAYSIA: tak sihat (not well)

 

INDONESIA : keliling kota (round town)

MALAYSIA: pusing pusing ke bandar (confused to harbour)

 

INDONESIA: Tank

MALAYSIA: Kereta kebal (immune carriage)

 

INDONESIA: Kedatangan (arrival)

MALAYSIA: ketibaan ( untung bukan ketibanan )

 

INDONESIA: bersenang-senang (having fun)

MALAYSIA: berseronok (having humour)

 

INDONESIA: bioskop (cinema)

MALAYSIA: panggung wayang (shadow puppet stage)

 

INDONESIA: rumah sakit jiwa (mental hospital)

MALAYSIA: gubuk gila (crazy hut)

 

INDONESIA: dokter ahli jiwa (psychiatrist)

MALAYSIA: Dokter gila (crazy doctor)

 

INDONESIA: narkoba (drugs)

MALAYSIA: dadah ('bye)

 

INDONESIA: Merayap (crawl)

MALAYSIA : Bersetubuh dengan bumi (having sex with earth)

 

INDONESIA: pintu darurat (emergency door)

MALAYSIA: Pintu kecemasan (door of anxiety)